Monday, September 2, 2013

Recipe for a Perfect Father Son Night

Hello friends. I wrote this post for my wife's blog 5 years ago. 5 YEARS! Where has the time gone? In honor of the start of college football season, here is this exclusive encore. :)

In the spirit of the blog world, I decided to post a recipe. 
Below is a recipe I found for a perfect night out with your son:


1 extremely excited 4 year old boy (can be substituted with any boy up to age 95+)

2 tickets to an ASU football game (it helps if you have friends who have season tickets but can't go to the game - thanks Travis!)

1 afternoon nap for everyone (don't skip this step, trust me)

1 heaping spoonful of Sun Devil Pride (this may be hard to find when your team is 2-5, but you gotta have it!)


1. Get dressed in gold shirts (try to wait until 2-3 hours before it's time to leave, but this may be impossible with an excited 4 year old).

2. Convince any other children that you love them just the same and that they will be doing something just as fun next weekend. (Use Mom for diplomatic relations help - do not meet without preconditions).

3. Eat before the game at Panda Express or similar restaurant. (If you make over $450,000 a year you may skip this step and eat at the stadium).

4. While driving, try to dodge questions like "are we almost there?"

***One way to do this is to distract them with a song of their choice. (in this case, it was "Won't Go Home Without You" by Maroon Five).

Once they are singing along, you have succeeded in buying some more time.

5. Try to remain calm during traffic congestion near the stadium. (This applies to father and son alike. Any muttering, murmuring, or outright complaining must be suitable for children's ears. Fathers should also keep it clean).

6. Make sure you have your tickets or you will have to repeat steps 4 and 5...and increase the likelihood of words "not suitable for children's ears."

7. Free posters make the best souvenirs, get as many of them as you can.

8. Spend entire 1st quarter telling your child that you "don't know where Sparky is, we'll find him later," and "the line for treats is super long right now, let's wait." Pray that this response is good enough to last until halftime.

9. Cheer loudly to get the most out of the whole experience. Teach child to yell "boooo" at the opposing team. Smile when he yells "boo, boo" like a scary ghost at them instead.

10. Remind your son how to do the ASU pitchfork with your fingers. Explain that the sign he had been making is actually quite offensive. When he presses for details about why it is offensive, say "I think I can see Sparky!"

11. Always put your arms in the air for a touchdown.

12. Don't forget to call Mom (even if you think he is talking to her but it ends up being a 1 minute 30 second conversation with voicemail because he "couldn't hear very good").

13. If you visit the sidelines, let your son peek through the cracks in the fence...

14. Try not to laugh when you see what he was watching.

15. Hurry your son farther down the sidelines to take a picture that won't make your wife upset.

16. Explain to your son that you didn't really mean what you said earlier about the quarterback, seeing that he is now within striking distance of you.

17. Finally give in and get a treat.

***Editorial side note - although it costs the same as the GDP of some small countries, the Minute Maid frozen lemonade, strawberry flavor, is worth every penny. Grab two spoons and fight the brain freeze to get your fair share.

18. Go find all costs.

19. Hold your son up with one arm, lean away to take a picture with the other, and watch him experience the memory of a childhood.

20. Thank Sparky with a high five and proceed to find ice for your strained shoulder.

21. Head home and try to go to sleep.

This recipe will be a family favorite just like Sunday roast beef dinner or Monday morning cold cereal. Your son will probably remember this night for the rest of his life. You, on the other hand, will certainly remember it forever.


  1. I love this post :)

    I should do one next time I take Jack to see Leeds United!

    ...and Panda Express is one of my guilty pleasures when in town. The fortune cookies are always great value for helping me create a plan for the next 6 months.

  2. Thanks Gareth! I would love to see a post of you and Jack a "proper" football game. Better yet, I'll bring Hite out to visit and we can go to one together. :)

    And next time you're here, we'll get some orange chicken and do your bi-annual planning at the local Panda Express.


  3. Matt, I love to read your clever anecdotes but alas, I must complain... Occasional Wit and charm are not enough; We need more posts.

    In the words of my eloquent children, "More!more!, More,more, More,more, More!, More, More, I said More!"

  4. You are too kind, Charla. I will try to do better about posting more. Someday. Maybe soon. Maybe not so soon. We'll see. :)